SATIRE

Senator Lindsey Graham took a day out of his also busy day to explain why Republicans believe that Jane Fonda’s arrests are proof that young people like Greta Thunberg are a bad influence on the elderly.

Here, this sprightly, energetic, young, foreign 16-year-old girl comes along with all of this Captain Planet, environmentalist, mumbo jumbo bullshit encouraging 82-year-old Jane Fonda to get arrested.

I read somewhere where Jane Fonda said:

    “Inspired by Greta and the youth Climate strikers…I’ve moved to
     Washington D.C. to be closer to the epicenter of the fight for our
     climate. Every Friday through January, I will be leading weekly
     demonstrations on Capitol Hill to demand that action by our
     political leaders be taken to address the climate emergency we
     are in. We can’t afford to wait. Welcome to Fire Drill Fridays.”

Anybody with a lick of sense knows that an 82-year-old woman, like Fonda, has brittle bones, arthritis, high blood pressure, and bad nerves and is therefore not in any shape or condition to be going out and getting herself arrested.

Arrest are for young folks like Thunberg, not ol’ folks like Fonda. Martin Luther King Jr. and Jesus were young men when they were arrested.

I was 15, just one year younger than Thunberg. Back then people understood that you didn’t put people who were in the hospice age group in the prison. It’s call jailhouse rock, not jailhouse nap, for a reason. Yet, Thunberg has convinced Fonda that she needs to come out, every Friday, to get arrested.

I hear tell Ted Danson got arrested too. Danson ain’t that much older than me. He got me about seven years and that ain’t much. I mean you would think that after that whole blackface thing with Whoopi Goldberg that he’d learned his lesson about foolishness. But he hasn’t. That’s those liberals, though. They don’t ever learn. Maybe that’s why it’s so easy for the young people to corrupt their minds because they don’t ever learn.

I tell you one thing, us Republicans aren’t going to let these young people corrupt our fragile minds. We’ll do the corrupting of them. You see all of these young people running around here with these MAGA hats on, storming into pizza parlors lock and loaded, that’s what you call corruption the right way.

The old corrupting the young. And that’s how it should be; not the other way around. Prison wasn’t made for senior citizens. And don’t go telling me about this isn’t new for Fonda. I’m well aware of her arrest history. But that’s when she was in the physical and mental condition to be arrested.

Heck, come to think of it, everybody was getting arrested back then. I got arrested for starring at an ice cream cone too long. That’s how it was back then. Young people got arrested. But this stuff that Thunberg is doing, no sir, I won’t have it on my watch.

And don’t go telling me, either, that climate change is comparable to Nixon and the war. God changes the weather, man changes himself. So if the climate is messed up, take it up with God and not Congress. There’s only so much we can do.

If we could stop all of those hurricanes from messing up our summer vacations on the sandy beaches of Daytona Beach, Florida, don’t you think we would do so?! But we can’t. We’re not God. Heck, we’re not even Merlin. We’re just humans and that in and of itself limits what we can do.

If that young girl’s parents stop letting her be truant from school all the time, she would learn that.